Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
