Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
