i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
someone get that fucking seahorse.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
