We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
