Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
