in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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