I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
