She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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