I wish I only lived at night.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
