Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
