why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So many bounce houses so little time
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
