Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
