We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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