'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
