break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
