dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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