Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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