As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
