I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
