im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
