i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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