You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
