Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
