Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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