i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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