She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
