He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
