the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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