Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
