I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she peed on how many people?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
