Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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