Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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