my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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