i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
