No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
