I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
