i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
