i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
