i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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