Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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