whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
