The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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