Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
