he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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