your parents love me but you hate me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
