i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
