I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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