It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
