so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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