Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
